Talk about your bittersweet victories.

Yeah, of course it’s cool that bin Laden’s dead — but for him to be killed when this schmuck’s in office? (Just ask Jimmy Carter how he feels about the Iranian hostages being “conveniently” released shortly after Reagan’s election. Then multiply that sinking feeling in any self-respecting Libertarian’s gut by 10.)

Indeed, it is wholly uncool that Osama was killed on Obama’s watch.

Because, let’s face it: These past two decades have shown us for what we are: a nation of “Uh-huh, but what have you done for me lately?”s.

An electorate that’s been over-diagnosed with ADHD.

Hell, our collective short term memory is embarrassing. Half of us remember Clinton “balancing the budget,” the other half [rightly] recalls how this budget was “balanced” on some chimerical dreck called the “Worldwide Web.’

(And it’s no coincidence that the half that gives Clinton credit for getting us out of the hole is the same half that damned near caused a Constitutional crisis Election ‘00. The same half of my brethren who’d disingenuously forgotten, two years later, that the man behind An Inconvenient Truth was the same man whose considerable fortune came from the most earth-polluting mineral mines the South’s ever known, that his own personal energy consumption rivaled that of a small African nation’s.)

And speaking of Clinton, why is it that he isn’t more widely blamed [by my brethren] for creating this “Death to the USA” band of freaks in the first place?

I mean, c’mon: The guy was so worried about Ken Starr’s potential “scoop” he decided to “wag the dog” on a Sudanese aspirin factory! (Like that would distract us Libertarians, i.e., the non-ADD-afflicted electorate, from our admittedly prurient interest in his sex life.) You don’t think Islamofascists the world over weren’t ticked off about that?!

Still, killing Osama was cool.

Even you Tea Baggers gotta admit that there’s some Old Testament glory to it.

Hmm, should we all be thanking Donald Trump?


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