What Women Want

How to Get a Second Date

Having been single for less than a year this time around, I have already encountered my share of starving musicians (who won’t hesitate to let you pick up the entire bill!), over-zealous bankers, and guys so metro-sexual my gay-dar was on code red the whole evening.

It’s not that it isn’t entertaining dating people straight out of a Hollywood B-movie, but sometimes a girl just wants normalcy. Or, in my case, a good-looking, Kierkegaard-reading surfer-type with washboard abs and an affinity for Italian wines. Ok, less might suffice too. But at least, a man should know that:

1. Women generally like a man to pay on a first date, but not because we can’t pay for ourselves. It simply has to do with how being treated like a lady (old-school) makes us feel appreciated.

2. Good hygiene is a must, and that goes for nails, teeth, and anything else above and below his belt. Also, guys with dandruff need not apply!

3. We want you to ask questions. When out on a date there is no bigger turn-off than a guy who just goes on and on about his new BMW, house in Cabo, or what-have-you. You don’t have to be ripped, rich, or famous to woo a woman, but you have to at least know how to show us some interest.

4. Don’t talk about your ex. Just don’t.

It’s not rare to experience a first-date faux pas, but a particularly bad one was committed by a guy who told me I looked “incredibly hot” in my DKNY dress, then went on to inquire if I’d be interested in a threesome with him and his fireman friend!

I also went out with a guy who was determined to prove his sexual prowess on my doorstep at the end of the night, and bit my lip so hard it was swollen the next day. Same guy lost all chance of a second date after jealously accusing me of ‘hiding’ another man in my apartment because I wouldn’t invite him in. And, the curious part is that we’re not talking ex-con with a swallow tattoo here, but an attractive, successful financier!

Fortunately, there are many ways in which a man can get ahead of the game and score some easy points, if only he applies a bit of intuition and charm. I’ll see through fingers with a lot of things if a guy has a keen sense of humor and a nice smile. For instance, I had an ex-boyfriend whose azure-blue eyes and disarmingly boyish smile 100 percent made up for the fact that he talked a little too well and often of his ex. It was obvious that he was clueless about the potential damage that topic can cause, and simply trying to be open and fair. It was impossible to hold it against him.

In essence, we women prefer funny, intelligent, impeccably groomed gentlemen. But, once we see that wee glint in your eye and start to fall for the sweet but slightly mischievous part of your soul, there’s pretty much nothing you can’t get away with. So keep taking us out, and doing your best to be a good to us, and we’ll keep forgiving you for any blunders you might make. Just as long as you do us the same favor!


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