Damn you to Hell Santa Barbara, California! Did you hear me? I said, Damn you to Hell! How dare you leave me a ticket of offense on my chariot of fire, after my day of Sun bathing beneath the sky beside the blue ocean! How dare you try to bring my day to ruins! Is this how you treat heroes that come to your realm? You patrol around in your little army buggies seeking to put chalk on tires to drain money from travelers that come from around the world and beyond!!! Oh how the world itself would be a greater place to dwell in if humanity were this adamant about true justice, but instead you selfishly trade pure gold for tarnished silver! However, since you could not leave well enough alone, I now say this to you: I curse the very ground that you walk upon and cast you behind my shoulder. I will speak to the Sun and ask if it will intensify the heat and dry up your vineyards and pools of water. If you choose to mock me, the very ground itself from underneath your feet will begin to shake at your very soul. And what is this I hear about you throwing wanderers in jail while those who wear shiny apparel come out of lavished taverns, intoxicated by sweet juices, hollering and screaming like buffoons; they are treated properly just because they possess large amounts of shillings. So, for this offense, my voice will echo throughout the land and vagabonds will come from every direction, filling the streets! Those who live in the cleft of the mountains will come and be fascinated, mingling with the drifters down below, making for an astonishing event. As for DJs who spin invisible music into other chariots, they will change the atmosphere and bring new sounds that have never been heard before. Rest assured that other chariots that resemble small houses will also come from every corner of the earth and occupy every street in your village, taking up all of the space until there is no room left for you. As your very lips become parched for thirst, those who you publicly despise, they themselves will kiss the yellow Sun! Know and be instructed that if you do not consider the manifested thoughts that leave my iron pen where I hide my sword and shield, that all of this is sure to be brought forth before your very eyes! For only if a man has done harm to others or has broken the law shall he be cast into jail, but if not, then he shall indeed be set free! So, to make a long story short, since you go through extreme measures to give me a citation on the street as well as others like me, I hereby shall do the very same thing and give you this…

PARKING TICKET

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